I like to describe myself as a trailblazer, and loneliness is an emotion I sometimes feel—and right now, it’s hitting me hard as I write this article.
The path of a trailblazer can be very lonely, considering it involves making many sacrifices, such as being away from family or stepping away from dating to focus on achieving a set goal.
I have been away from my family for a very long time now and most times I get lonely to the point it puts me in "regret mode" with me questioning if leaving my home country was a good decision. But looking on the bright side, I left to pursue my dreams, and being away from home has helped my growth in many ways. Although it's been a very lonely journey, I believe it will be worth the sacrifices in the end.
I am certain that a major reason you clicked to read this article is that you are feeling lonely and actively searching for practical ways to cope with it or to make your life more exciting. Considering I am very much like you, you are at the right place and I will be sharing some practical ways to help cope with loneliness.
Reflect on this feeling of loneliness
As much as loneliness is a common emotion, it might be a problem if it is prolonged or if it occurs too often. So, take some time to ask yourself why exactly you feel lonely and find out what some of your triggers might be. Sometimes, I feel lonely when I spend the day idle, doing nothing productive and scrolling endlessly on social media. When I do this, I tend to go into comparison mode where I start to look at my life as terrible and not up to par which pushes me into a space of loneliness.
Know your triggers
A major trigger that pushes me into a state of loneliness is idleness. So to deal with this, I have to intentionally avoid my triggers. You need to find out what your triggers are and the habits you engage in that make you fall into a state of loneliness. You should know that being alone doesn't have to equate to loneliness because there are tons of exciting ways to enjoy yourself alone, and that takes us to our 3rd point.
Avoid idleness at all cost
One habit I have tried to imbibe is to plan my day the night before. When I plan my day, I try to allocate each hour to something productive which also includes rest. Allocating each hour to something helps me avoid the urge to mindlessly scroll through social media or feel terrible about my life.
Keep yourself engaged with your hobbies
Everyone should have a hobby that keeps them excited each day. Trust me, I do understand how monotonous each day gets. You need to have hobbies that make you look forward to each day. And you need to intentionally create time for these hobbies. It could be early in the morning or the evening before bed. If your hobbies are outdoorsy, then you should create time for them during the weekend.
Intentionally create time to connect with friends
Life is not meant to be only about work, goals, money, and all of these things we make life to be about. Sometimes, a cure for this lonely feeling is a night out with your friends. There is nothing wrong with wanting to achieve your goals at all costs and working hard to reach a financial bracket, but as often as possible, you need to take some time to relax and connect with other people.
Considering I am very far away from home, I find that connecting with other people either at church or at social gatherings helps me deal with that lonely feeling that comes whenever I start to think about my family back home or think about why I am single lol.
Go out and make new friends
Making friends can be fun if you don't overthink it. When it comes to making friends, I know that some of us try to come up all perfect thinking of the right words to say but you can start your next friendship with a simple compliment and then keep the conversation going. It doesn't have to be that difficult.
Take a break from your busy schedule, step out of your feelings, and go make new connections.
Plan out an Adventure
What's something on your bucket list you haven't kicked off yet? What is that one adventure you have been putting off? Maybe you need to go on this adventure to help you discover a new spark that will keep you excited for as long as possible.
Seek therapy
If you find that the feeling of loneliness comes up more often than usual, then you need to speak with someone because there might be an underlying issue that needs attention.
All of these practical ways listed above may help you for some time but if an underlying trauma fueling this lonely feeling is not addressed, it would make the feeling worse.
Concluding thoughts
Loneliness is a feeling we all experience, and it is even worse for any trailblazer because you find that most times, you are alone trying to either pursue a dream or achieve a goal. Nevertheless, we need to find ways to deal with this emotion because loneliness has a way of making us spiral down into depression or a feeling of unworthiness.
A rundown of practical ways to cope with loneliness as a trailblazer: Reflect on this feeling, Know your triggers, avoid idleness at all costs, keep yourself engaged with your hobbies, Intentionally create time to connect with current friends, Go out and make new friends, plan out an adventure, most importantly seek therapy.
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