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Books I'm Using to Navigate My 20s.

Writer's picture: nickafdaniellenickafdanielle


A silhouette of a woman looks over a lake during the sunset.


Like a lot of twenty-somethings, I started this decade with a sense of certainty that I knew it all and could be it all. I won’t fault my younger self, I needed her mindset at the time; I was just graduating college, and attempting to slide into adulthood. To my younger self, that looked like getting my first job, a romantic relationship and possibly (this was my favorite part) an apartment. 


While I won’t go into details on which two out of three came to pass, I will say that I needed a more nuanced understanding of life. I needed perspective to get and ultimately keep those things. The years keep getting kinder, and in the gap between my understanding and the life goals I choose to pursue, I’ve learned to borrow a lot of knowledge. Here are a few books I'm using to navigate my 20's.




Cover of the book; The Defining Decade by Meg Jay


Synopsis: Dr. Jay distills over two decades of observations during her practice as a developmental clinical psychologist specializing in twentysomethings (adults in their 20s). In this book, she breaks down her advice on the areas of career, relationships, personality, identity and biology that can and will evolve more during this decade than at any other time in adulthood.


Why We Recommend: Dr. Jay’s work stands out for its depth in terms of research. If you’re a fact-driven person, this may be the option for you. In terms of takeaways, her take on sliding vs. deciding to be in relationships of any kind stands out. Her intent is to remind us to be intentional about having difficult conversations when making big life changes such as moving in with a significant other or ending a relationship.






Cover of the book; Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Americanah-Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie


Synopsis: Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s epic centers on two characters; Ifemelu and Obinze. Its real heart is laid bare in Ifemelu- an outspoken young woman who moves from Nigeria to America for university. Obinze on the other hand, a quiet and thoughtful young man, had hoped to join her, but his plans are derailed by falling into a dangerous, undocumented life in London. Set against the backdrop of military-ruled Nigeria and a post 9/11 America, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie paints stark observations on the economic class, the experience of race as a foreigner in the United States, and a sense of longing for “home” whatever that may be.

 


Why We Recommend: Chimamanda lends Americanah her signature gift of observation. Being a non-American Black-as Ifemelu describes herself, she notices the nuances of culture. This novel also stands out for redefining the standard coming-of-age story- the protagonists are constantly discovering themselves. It’s not a traditional love story, and that is its beauty. It also puts into perspective the harsh realities of life and relationships.





Cover of the book; Educated by Tara Westover

Educated-Tara Westover

Synopsis: Born to survivalists in the mountains of Idaho, Tara Westover was seventeen the first time she set foot in a classroom. Her family was so isolated from mainstream society that there was no one to ensure the children received an education, and no one to intervene when one of Tara’s older brothers became violent. When another brother got himself into college, Tara decided to try a new kind of life. Her quest for knowledge transformed her, taking her over oceans and across continents, to Harvard and to Cambridge University. Only then would she wonder if she’d traveled too far, if there was still a way home (Amazon).


Why We Recommend: Tara’s story is at points so grim that it feels contrived. Often, when Tara or other members of her family were deathly ill, her Father was unwilling to take them to the hospital under the argument that he did not trust the government. Among other emotions, this memoir leaves you with a sense of resolution to chase every dream you can.




Cover of the book; The Rules of Love by Richard Templar

The Rules of Love-Richard Templar

Synopsis: ‘The Rules’ are the guiding principles that will help you form strong and enduring relationships, and support you when things aren't going the way that you wanted them to. In this new edition, Richard Templar has added 10 brand new Rules to help make your relationships even more rewarding. You'll feel the benefits, and so will everybody around you (Amazon).


Why We Recommend: We recommend this book for its ease. It is literally a list of how to be a better partner, child, parent and friend. Its safe to say this is something we’re all working on, and books like this distill easy to digest information on the topic.




Cover of the book; Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl

Synopsis: Viktor Frankl’s riveting account of his time in the Nazi concentration camps, and his insightful exploration of the human will to find meaning in spite of the worst adversity, has offered solace and guidance to generations of readers since it was first published in 1946. At the heart of Frankl’s theory of logotherapy (from the Greek word for “meaning”) is a conviction that the primary human drive is not pleasure, as Freud maintained, but rather the discovery and pursuit of what the individual finds meaningful (Amazon).


Why We Recommend: Wow. Just. Wow. No other book on this list has quite literally brought us to tears. This book should be read regularly to remind us of the capacity of the human spirit in the face of hopelessness. 

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